Especially if he thinks he can get away with it. It's possible he hasn't been acting on these desires of his, as you say you havent' seen anything to make you think he has, but it's also possible that he has in the past or will in the future. It's obviously bothering you, it's something he seems to be hiding from you and unwilling or unable to admit to you or himself, and theres a real risk that if he acts on these desires he might catch something from one of them and then turn it over to you. I don't really see how else you can proceed. But in order to even get into that discussion you need to talk with him and I would honeslty think at this point the only thing you can do is confront him with the evidence you have. First off theres the infidelity part and secondly there's the chance that he might pick up some disease from one of these guys if he is indeed trying to meet other men. There are quite a few married men with a gay or bi streak in them, I'm afraid, and the real damage here comes if he's actually acting on it. He may be curious or he may be experimenting with his sexuality. I love him to bits and have been married over 20 years with 3 children but I feel now that I don't know him as well as I thought.
Please feel free to ask me any questions. As I've tried twice already to talk to him about it and he's denied it point blank I don't know what else to do. I've seen no evidence of him contacting other gay men and it seems it is purely voyeuristic.
Is he bisexual but too afraid to tell me, is he too afraid to admit him to himself. What concerns me though is why is he watching men with men - oh and he also goes on photography sites and searches for gay pictures. He also watches a lot of anal sex - now whatever floats your boat, not my cup of tea. I can see exactly what he's been watching and for how long. Then about 4 months ago there was a change in pattern, he was looking at gay porn again. I began to relax and considered removing the programme. For a long while he was just visiting what are "normal" porn sites - you know man and woman, plain old ordinary sex. Now some of you may disagree with my next move but I needed to be sure of my facts so I installed a web programme that recorded everything that went on. I wasn't sure and therefore didn't feel I could challenge him further. When I challenged him about it he insisted that he hadn't been looking but that he'd been flicking through a porn site and that he hadn't actually viewed them. There were so many "hits" it was obvious it wasn't a one off curiosity stop and I also realised that perhaps what I'd found 6 months previous was not my son afterall but my husband and he'd let me think it was our son. That was until I saw that a lot of the links were to gay porn. I was a little annoyed I admit but I've always been open minded when it comes to porn. 6 months later I was looking through the history on our computer to find a link I had gone on a few days previously and came across a page of links to a porn site and the date and time showed that it couldn't be my son. I didn't come across anymore until 6 months later. I told my husband about it and he agreed with me that perhaps it was just curiosity of our son. My first reaction was that maybe it was my eldest son being curious (he was about 17 at the time) so I deleted it. About 18 months ago I came across a gay porn video (2 men having intercourse). I apologise in advance if my story is long but I want to try and get all the facts across. This is a diffiuclt question because we all have different ideas on what is "normal" when it comes to sex etc but I feel very confused and just want to talk to someone about this. Hi I hope you don't mind me posting on here but I thought that maybe a man's perspective on this is what is needed as I'm at a complete loss.